Dog Days at Petco Park

How do you root for a Padres team that doesn’t care anymore?

RONDON’S DOWNTOWN SAN DIEGO

August 9: Woe is me. I am the antithesis of a bandwagon fan. My adopted team is the Padres, my hometown team is the Baltimore Orioles. Both clubs are in last place in their respective divisions. Nonetheless, I scan the box scores every morning to see if either team eked out a moral victory the night before.

 My most hated teams are, in order: The Yankees. The Red Sox. The Dodgers. The first two shell out annual players’ salaries close to $200 million to keep the Orioles in the cellar. (As I write this, the Tampa Bay Rays lead the Yanks and the Sox in the American League East. Don’t look in the rear-view mirror, Rays fans.)

 The Dodgers haven’t given the Padres too much trouble in recent years. But they’re division rivals, a geographic nuisance and continually remind us of the vacuous and superficial nature of our Tinseltown neighbor.

 So while Padres owner John Moores squabbles with his soon-to-be-ex wife over who gets to sit in their downtown box seats, and management lets homeboy Brian Giles ponder a trade to the Red Sox, how are we supposed to find motivation to root for the home team?

 The Padres front office considered giving future Hall-of-Fame pitcher Greg Maddux to the Dodgers. The hated boys in blue—I can’t believe I’m saying this—are actually an interesting team. Manager Joe Torre (Gah! Former Yanks skipper!) and slugger Manny Ramirez (oxygen, please—he used to swat for the Sox!) are kinda sorta worth a look. I’d rather see Manny oaf his way into the playoffs than the Arizona Diamondbacks (is that “db” on their sleeves supposed to look like a butterfly?).

 Great goonie goo-goos. I will stand by my sports teams in rain, sleet, snow and temperatures well into the mid 80s. But throw us a bone, Pads management, ‘Cause right now, I’m peeking northward…
 

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